Organization is the Key

Well, my son is now 16 and I figure it's time to get my act together. I was very organized before he was born and I still can't figure out how it happened that I became the total opposite of organized. Nonetheless, now it's time to start thinking about college for him, and I know we have a lot of work to do the next year and a half to get ready.

Every bit of my life is in absolute chaos. I'm constantly looking for stuff for me and for everyone else. My family and students included. I'm sick of it. So, where to start? This is really hard when you feel overwhelmed and know there is not one place where organization rules in your life. There is no anchor, no model to follow.

Bills are a mess. Can't find some of the payment books, so I end up having to go to the banks that I owe money to and let them figure out my account numbers. Don't know what to pay when, I just kinda quit looking at stuff and keeping track when husband had a series of lay-offs a couple of years ago and there wasn't enough money to pay everyone anyway. I used to never, ever be late paying a bill. Now, I'm lucky if I can find the bill. Usually they are buried on my kitchen table, in my vehicle, or in my teacher bag. This is the one mess that bothers me the most, and I really feel it has caused a lot of other things to fall apart. I have this opinion because the depression just takes hold when you can't meet your obligations and you finally just give up. This one will probably be the most difficult to recover from.

House is a mess. Laundry is clean but not folded, or if it is folded it's not put away. I have discovered "Wonder Hangers" and they are the BOMB! I love being able to hang up my son's clothing for the week on his door. I figure since he is going to be too lazy to go to his own closet to get it out, I am going to be too lazy to put it in there in the first place.

I also love hanging my husbands work uniforms on hangers for the week. This is because he believes that between the hours of 8-9 p.m. it is his manly duty to go around the house, getting himself organized for the next day of work. Now, this would be great, except that he makes as much noise as he possibly can in accomplishing this. I think he is trying to impress upon me that he is having to look for stuff because of "my" disorganization. He bangs dishes, shoes, closet doors, and dresser drawers. I have figured out that if I have his clothes hanging on our bedroom door, neatly ready to go, there is no need for the closet doors or dresser drawers to bang. So I have scored my first victory of the organizational battle with the Wonder Hangers.

Finally, my professional life is disorganized. I had a wonderful mentor for the past 11 years. She kept me together. Made sure I had assignments ready that I may not be able to find orginal copies of, helped me stay on top of due dates and she never once made me feel like a doofus for being a mess. She retired last year, and I knew right then that I was going to have to get it together. So I started making binders to keep things in during her last year of teaching. I am trying daily to not leave my desk a total disaster. Also trying to keep kids stuff on kids areas. I am trying to do things as my wonderful mentor did, even though I know I will never be half the teacher she was. I am doing better, but geez, I have such a long way to go.

I recently started following "Fly Lady" to help myself get a handle on all this. It is a wonderful help and I was delighted to find that Fly Lady also has plans for financial organization and teacher organization and tons of other stuff. So, maybe there is hope for me. Maybe I will get my life back once the kid goes to college and I will magically return to the organized person I used to be. Not likely, but it's nice to have a dream and a goal.

Why did all this happen?

I think God has allowed me to become this frazzled mess because he wants me to learn the hard way that not everyone is organized and together. Each person has his or her own level of organization and tolerance for lack of it. I would not have learned this if I had not become a mother. I also think God has allowed me to allow my finances to fall apart. He wants me to be a better person by learning to put myself back together and to do it the hard way. He wants me to have an appreciation that not all folks in situations of financial distress were able to control that part of their life. I would never have had an understanding of financial hardship if God had not allowed me to experience it myself.

So even though I may get very frustrated with myself for the way I have run things the past several years, I feel that it is God teaching me things I would not otherwise be able to learn. Even through all of these hard lessons, God has placed people in my life to help me. God has made sure my needs are taken care of. I have learned to "consider the lilies." I have been forced into situations when I had to depend upon God to take care of me. I had no choice but to have faith. God gave me signs that I was supposed to follow a specific path even though uncertainty clouded the way and I had no idea how I was going to get where he wanted me to go.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I am still learning it. Even though it is uncomfortable, I am thankful God is pushing me through it because I think I am becoming a better person through this hard times.

Well, it is now 8:30 pm and husband is slamming doors and other stuff. Thus ends today's post because I cannot concentrate with noise at this level.

Now where is that TV remote?