That's What It's All About

     I have spent a lot of time pondering life.  By pondering I mean, what is the point of it all?  We get up, we go to work, we clean our houses, take care of our kids, if we have them.  We go to sleep (or try to) so that we can get up the next day and go do it all over again.   When we get paid, we pay our bills and spend our hard-earned money on stuff that we need.  If we are lucky enough to have money left over, we spend it on secondary needs or the occasional "want."

     This endless cycle seems to be the norm for most of the people I know.  For years and years I have wondered what is the deal??  Is this all there is to it?   Why would God put us here just to do the same mundane stuff day after day, until we finally die?  What if I just can't do the same mindless song and dance anymore, then what?  Why do I think there must be some reason besides "just because"?

     I can't remember when I started wondering about these questions, but I know it was pretty early.  Probably around the time I had to write my first research paper in high school or maybe had to try to analyze MacBeth.  I just thought "What is the point?  Is this the reason I am living?  Just to make wild guesses about some cryptic messages that were allegedly cloaked in all sorts of gobbledygook?"  I didn't sign up for that!  

     Even though I was a kid then, the world still puzzles me in the same way now that I am a supposed grown up.  Most of the stuff we do in life just seems like insignificant nonsense for the most part.  

     We do these things in the pursuit of happiness, usually our own happiness or that of our immediate family members.  We do them whether they really make sense or not.  

     This is NOT what it's all about, folks.  

     It has taken me over 4 decades to figure out what it is all about.  It is all about your impact on others.  I don't want to make this a 9/11 post, but the events of that day in 2001 and subsequent stories of heroism and just generally being good to others and helping are the ultimate illustration of what it's all about.  

     There are other much smaller, yet significant examples I could give.  But I think my readers should spend some time coming up with their own.  Think "random acts of kindness." If you've had any proper upbringing at all, you know what this means.  It means doing something nice for someone for no reason.  Doing the right thing, whether anyone else will know or not.  If it can be done anonymously, all the better. If it's something kind done for someone you may not even know, icing on the cake.  

    Why?  Because your willingness to do so shows your true character.  Random acts of kindness are not done for recognition.  They are done to make someone's life a little better.  THAT'S what it's all about.  

     Pass it on!  

Ch, ch, ch, changes!

13 days until school starts in XYZ school district. So far, I've survived a lot of "firsts" since January.  First class picture day I've missed in 19 years, first parent-teacher conferences I've missed, first class party I've missed, first last day . . .you get the idea.  

On August 20, which is in 13 more days,  it will be the first 1st day of a new school year I have missed.  In 20 years. This will be the only year I will pay attention to that.  Only paying attention now because it is the first. 

So, whatever shall I do on that day?   I haven't quite nailed it down yet, but I think it's going to involve being on a beach at sunrise.  

I will admit, for awhile I would get sad thinking about what I've left behind. Even though it wasn't really a choice.  But once I realized that the career I lost wasn't really the same occupation anymore, it helped me to figure out that I might as well celebrate it.  I might as well allow myself to get tangled up in the silver lining of this cloud and enjoy the blessing, in spite of the disguise it was wearing.  Some days this is easier than others, but it's coming along. 

One thing I'm really grateful for is that I won't be a witness to 7 year old kids experiencing test anxiety.   My final year was the first time I ever saw students that young have such a visible reaction at test time.  What was different than the previous 18 years?  I have some ideas, but that's a whole other bucket of worms. 

Another thing I'm grateful for is just having time to process thoughts.  Elementary teachers don't really have that luxury.  They have to be "on" from the time school starts until those buses leave at the end of the day.  Constantly "entertaining" to keep students engaged, while also juggling individual student needs.  Not just academic needs, but also physical, social, and emotional needs.  You gotta try to soothe hurt feelings and boo-boos, reassure Susie that everything's ok even though mom is in jail, give the foster kids extra encouragement, try to give equal attention to the needy, yet not ignore the independent students.  All of these tasks (and more) are done concurrently. 

Teachers do this crazy balancing act for mostly one reason:  they like helping children learn.  The job has intrinsic rewards for those who are there for the right reasons.  

However, the changes that are taking place in education across the United States are eroding the teacher's ability to really teach.  I guess someone somewhere thought the whole learning process can be "mechanized" in a sense.  A lot of other people apparently bought into this idea, although I doubt any if them were real teachers. 

This mechanization idea involves testing kids to make sure they've learned specific standards, tracking progress through data collection and analysis, and making adjustments to future instruction to improve areas of weakness.

Well, that makes sense.  In theory and to a certain point. But then, someone got the bright idea that we could apply this practice to every subject and every test.  That doesn't sound so bad.  Except for one forgotten detail:  kids need more from school than just learning what is listed in the curriculum.  Kids are PEOPLE, not widgets.  Schools are not factories.  We are trying to apply quality control measures to living, thinking, still-developing people.  

Quality control is a great thing if you are producing ice cream or automotive parts: If you get less-than-satisfactory ingredients, you can find a better vendor and then all is well with your final product.  This doesn't work so well in a school setting.  You can't just send faulty ingredients back and demand better from the suppliers.  

If you don't believe me, just try it - tell Mr. & Mrs. Johnson that Johnny just isn't up to par and they'll need to produce a better person if they wish to be considered as student suppliers in the future.  

This is why my chosen profession no longer exists;  schools are expected to find a way to make all children develop and learn the same things at the same times and prove that this forced maturity is being achieved. Of course teachers and schools strive to do their best and prepare students, but is it realistic to think that children coming into school with varying abilities, talents, and home lives are going to hit the same learning benchmarks at the same time?  Talk about pressure!!

So, yeah, things have changed. The concept of teaching and learning that I grew up with no longer exists.  I'm sure many of my colleagues will adapt, some will crack under the pressure and be forced out, and others will just eventually draw the line and decide its no longer rewarding to keep trying to do the impossible.  

All I know is, I am where I need to be and it's not such a bad place.