Wise Up!

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation.  It's one thing to feel you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."

The above is a quote from Paulo Coelho.  I had never heard of this Brazilian novelist until I stumbled upon this quote, but I have to admire how well he has crystallized my own scattered thoughts on a difficult topic with words.

     I noticed a "friend's" comment to one of my Facebook posts. The comment made contained only one word.  But I, with my insane hypersensitivity, felt the heavy sarcasm in that one word.  I am being judged, and lumped with the "leeches of society," and I am not surprised.  I knew it was coming.  I just didn't know from who or when.  

     There was a time when I would have been just as judgmental as the one-word commentator.  Except my life events have allowed me to really experience the pain and renunciation to which Paulo Coelho refers.  In doing so, I would be incredibly ignorant if I did not recognize that others also experience pain and torments of their own, stuff that is kept private and of which even their closest confidants are unaware. None of us really knows what any other person goes through.  

     Even though I know that my early retirement funding does NOT come from the taxes paid by my hardworking one-word commentator, he does not know that.  Therefore, he sees me as a "lazy bum," and he mistakenly resents me for it.  Or at least that is the feeling that I got.  I bet he'd be amazed to learn that my early retirement benefits from a private pension fund are even taxed, just like regular income.  He also does not realize that the benefits to which I am entitled serve as a sort of "insurance," in place because I no longer have the ability to do what my years of training and experience are all geared toward.  A teacher does not simply go into another line of work.  Many employers simply do not think teachers are able to do much of anything besides babysit, which is not a skill set they are looking to hire.  Of course, any teacher knows that this is a misconception, but unless the potential employer has been a teacher, the misconception wins the day.  

   Also, teachers do not simply change school districts.  Once a teacher has so many years of experience, he or she is stuck right where they are.  At hiring time in a school district, the cheapest candidate available has the edge.  

  I won't even go into the questions that a 21-year veteran teacher would have to answer in a job interview with any employer.  Stuff like "Why did you leave your last job?"  Any answer, honest or not, is certain to scare away any potential employer. 

  I really hope Mr. One Word Sarcastic Commentator reads this, but I'm betting he won't take the time and luckily, I'm determined to not let it bother me.  There is so much about the teaching profession outsiders can never truly understand. 

   Anyway, back to the main point, which was my inevitable judging.  I tried to blame myself for reading too much into one word, but another comment came on another post which was a thread within an event posting.  

   My gut was right the first time, yes, he had stereotyped me.  When will I learn to listen and quit giving others the benefit of the doubt?  Probably never, because I know that I could wrongly judge another person if I did not give second chances.  However, third, fourth and fifth chances are things I have eliminated.  I don't have the time or patience anymore, and I've finally wised up enough to know that it's a futile idea that those persons who need more than two chances will accept me for who I am.  Best just to cut my losses and drop those folks from my life. 

   Just like Mrs. Frills, the only contact or impact I plan to have on Mr. One Word Sarcastic Commentator's life in the future is to pray for him.  I know he has experienced things I can never know about and he has a lot of bitterness. No one can be happy living like that.

   I pray that Mrs. Frills & Mr. One Word find peace in their lives so that they both can function in a positive way for the benefit of those who must tolerate them.  

   It's the least (and most) I can do.