Wheels

 Yesterday I set out on a mission to find a knee walker for my mother.  The way I was presented with that mission is a whole other tale, but the excitement I felt when I realized "mission accomplished" took a bittersweet turn almost immediately.

My mom is going to be unable to walk for 6 months, due to a condition called charcot.  She has a great attitude about it and of course we realize it could be worse.  But acquiring a knee scooter made me think about wheels and the stages of our lives that are marked by the objects to which out wheels are attached.  

First, when a person is a baby, there are wheels on the crib or bassinet.  These wheels are there not for the baby's convenience, but to make life easier for the caregiver.  These wheels are inconsequential to the baby until he or she becomes a grown up caregiver. 

The next set of wheels us humans encounter are found on a stroller.  Baby is getting out more, able to go on adventures outside of the home without being glued to mom or dad's hip. Baby is getting a small taste of freedom within the safe confines of the stroller unit.

Not long after that, the baby is introduced to a whole new experience:  the self-propelled walker, complete with bumpers and, you guessed it, a new set of wheels.  Baby's world just got a whole lot bigger.

Finally, the baby moves on to bigger and better riding toys with wheels, like the trusty Fisher-Price scooter, the Little Tykes car, or other riding toys, and eventually the baby is a toddler. 

That toddler is soon ready for a tricycle. Still self-propelled, and fairly safe.  But independence is taken to a whole new level: the toddler will learn to pedal and also discover that hard surfaces, such as sidewalks and roadways make for much easier locomotion.  Wow, this world is even bigger than the toddler realized.  

Of course, that toddler gets a little older and a lot more coordinated.  He or she quickly outgrows that tricycle.  Soon it is time to graduate up to a bicycle.  But not so fast:  balancing on 2 wheels is quite a huge step.  So, auxiliary wheels are often utilized to assist the young child in learning to balance and pedal at the same time.  Training wheels are the bridge from toddlerhood to childhood.  The missing link can be defined by these gadgets, really.  Bicycles will take the child faster and farther away from home than ever before.  Those training wheels are helpful in reaching this new, wonderful plateau of independence. 

The bicycle phase lasts longer than any other experience with wheels up to this point in the child's life.  For the parents, this can be a magical time.  The child is fairly independent and able to fulfill most of his or her basic needs as long as the materials with which to do it are readily available.  The child is, however, still interacting with, and learning from Mom & Dad.  Total independence is not yet in the picture, but it's sneaking up fast. 

Before Mom & Dad know what has hit them, that child is 16 years old and in need of some "wheels."  The big kahuna:  a car.  A real vehicle to drive on a real street or highway.  Mom & Dad's magical period is ending, and the teenager's is just beginning.  

(Teenager:  These are the best years of your life.  Enjoy them and don't do stupid stuff.  Cherish your freedom, respect your parents for providing you with it.  You will be surprised by how quickly this idyllic period ends and you will want it back.)

So, now we have the ultimate in independence.  A car or truck or motorcycle.  You can go anywhere you want with one of these.   As a matter of fact, these wheels will likely be crucial to working and raising a family.  

See what I mean, teenagers?  That freedom without strings didn't last long.  As you begin this next phase with wheels, you quickly find out that you are now dependent upon these wheels in order to maintain them and thus preserve your ability to get around and to provide for your own family.

Well, what goes up really does come down, and our level of independence is no exception.  As we age, we find out that we are not as invincible as we thought we were when we acquired that first set of "real wheels."  More likely than not, at some point we find that we need a little help getting around.  Time for a different kind of wheels.  

We will fight this stage with everything we have.  We will use almost anything else to avoid giving up our ability to go anywhere we wish.  However, at some point, we find that we need a cane or maybe a walker.  As our upper body strength fails, we may need a walker with wheels, or a knee scooter, or maybe even a wheelchair.  With the acknowledgement of the necessity of wheels to help us perform everyday tasks, we give up a degree of independence. This is an unavoidable sacrifice if we wish to be able to continue to live in our own homes and allow family members to help care for us as opposed to living in a long-term care facility.  The wheels keep us free a little longer. 

So this was the bittersweet realization that swept over me as I accomplished the mission of obtaining a knee walker for my mother.  In trying to help her maintain some independence, I'm also forcing her to acknowledge that she needs some help.  It's a strange paradox and an unavoidable landmark along life's journey.  

At any rate, I'm thankful for the wheels that we have to make life a little easier. 

It's More Complicated Than You Think . . .

        I've been on a little break for almost a month now.  Lots of topics I could write about, but I really don't have enough to say about most of them to do a whole post.  One topic in particular keeps popping back into my mind, however.  It's like that bag of popcorn in the microwave.  I keep waiting for a long enough pause between between pops to take it out, but there is always the persistent pop that comes at the final split second before I open the door.  So I anxiously wait again, thinking there might be more pesky kernels that are going to give way if I just maintain my patience a few more seconds.

     It's a fine line.  Wait too long and it's going to burn and ruin the whole bag.  There are always going to be a few resistant kernels that have to be sacrificed in order to keep the rest of the bag edible.

     I think I've reached that point with addressing my thoughts on mental health care.   The lack of availability of it is what I have been pondering.  I guess I just find it so ironic that persons who finally decide they have got to seek help (which is a difficult point to reach in itself) are then faced with the daunting task of actually finding a place where they can obtain services.

   It happened to me.  I've seen it happen to others I have tried to help.   Usually by the time you are feeling bad enough to not give a hoot about what other people think of you, help is needed pretty quickly.  But it IS NOT readily available, despite what you see on tv and billboards and hear on the radio.

     When my little incident happened last January,  I was already waiting for a response from ANY psychiatrist with which my family doctor had tried to get an appointment for me.  There was none.  By the time things happened which caused me to be voluntarily removed from my classroom (see July 2013 post "Well, Well, Well), it was too late for me to care about saving my career.  

     It's a good thing I wasn't as crazy as certain people thought I was.  That's all I'm gonna say about that. 😉

      I recently tried to help a family find help for their adolescent child.  After several phone calls, a visit with a local juvenile resource agency, AND a trip to the hospital with a child who clearly needs help, we got nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  

     Prior to the hospital ER visit, (which was a last resort), one place I called said they do not serve persons under 17.  The place they suggested I contact had a 3 month waiting list, at minimum. Another place I tried to call had no answer and no voicemail available.  Two other places called and with which I left messages never returned my calls.  The one place that seemed to be on the ball went through an hour and a half of collecting information and setting up a series of appointments before calling back to inform the child's mother that her insurance would not cover the needed services at their facility.  

     At wits end, we finally broke down and took the child to the ER.  This was necessary we were told by the hospital's behavioral health clinic, because that is the only way they do intake for their clinic.  We were assured that once this step was taken, the child would receive either inpatient or outpatient services.  

      Well, that turned out to be misinformation.  After a 10 minute doctor consult, the adolescent was turned loose.  Even with the hospital having knowledge that the child is exhibiting dangerous, life-threatening behavior that occurred on our way into the ER, IN THE HOSPITAL PARKING LOT!  This child was given no referral for services of any kind.  However, I guarantee you the hospital will certainly expect a grand payment for their useless assessment of the situation.  

     The child's school has even ignored numerous phone calls from his mother, personal visits from myself, and emails from both of us.  No response whatsoever.

      It appears no one cares or wants to help this child to be safe and successful except the child's family, closest friends, and myself.  No agency, doctor or law enforcement officers care that this family is living in constant fear not only for the affected child, but also for their own safety and the safety of their other children. 

     Why do these so-called mental health agencies even exist???  They serve no purpose except to give someone a job answering the phone (or not) to say "We can't help you."

     The only reason I was finally able to get help in my own situation is because I had a terrific family doctor who knows me well and who was persistent in finding someone, anyone to evaluate me.  Once I told her I would drive anywhere in the state or even outside of the state if necessary and pay out-of-pocket to get around insurance restrictions, I was able to get help.  

     But guess what?  I'm not a juvenile.  I made a financial leap of faith in pledging to pay without using insurance if necessary.  Not everyone can do that. 

     So, the next time you see on the news a kid has gone on a killing rampage, you need to stop and wonder if his or her caregivers tried to get help and was turned away.  

     And we wonder what's wrong with people.  This country is way more screwed up than any of us have a chance to realize.  

Government Shutdown

With all the hullabaloo about the government shutdown, of course I have a few thoughts.  

First, it's time for a revolution in this country.  Why are we putting up with the shenanigans of ineffective government leaders? 

 Well, probably because there are too many of us minions to organize ourselves, and we are kept way too busy just trying to survive.  

I think it's high time to establish new qualifcatiions for members of congress.  Let's revisit the constitution, because, seriously, it's no longer the late 18th century, and a whole lot has changed since then.  

My first recommendation would be that anyone running for congress must not make more than 100,000 per year.  Nothing against the wealthy, but hey, we need people who are still in touch with reality and who may possibly know what it is like to still be working your tail off trying to provide for your family.  Let's just get rid of the greed-driven corruption right off the top.

Next, in order to run for congress,  any trust funds, investments, and other such potential wealth-building tools must be suspended while serving as a member of Congress.   This also applies to members of your immediate family.  You probably don't have much of these assets anyway due to rule #1, but just in case, don't be planning to transfer all that stuff to your wife or children. That oughta put a stop to self-serving agendas that are breaking the backs of the hard-working peasantry.  

In addition, term limits.  You get two if you can be elected to them. After that, you're done.  Go on about your business.  Limited congressional benefits for one year after leaving your legislative post.  If you were ambitious enough to get elected and serve, you'll have no problem  returning to a normal life.  You aren't going to need security to follow you around, because you did not benefit financially from making self-serving decisions as a member of congress due to rules #1 & 2.  Back when the Constitution established Congressional qualifications, this was pretty much the way it worked just because that's the way things were.  Although I'm sure hideous wealth & greed existed, it certainly was not the basis of all legislation.  Special interest groups had not yet been born, nor had the idea of robbing common Americans through big business.  The framers of the Constitution, for the most part, had more important things to contend with, like creating a healthy independent nation.  

I could think of a lot more, but this is a start.  Tremendously unrealistic, perhaps, but it's nice to have a dream anyway.